I miss me.

Dead Dorito-head cat.

Sometimes life is so crazy you wake up in the morning missing yourself. I've felt so out of it. So horribly out of it. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. My boss decided to resign about a month ago. I'm really going to miss her. It's been really tough getting the hang of everything at work. But now that she's gone I've been appointed to the position of Interim Director of New Student Transitions and Parent Programs! SO that's the job I've been talking about. Being in this position will allow matt and I to save a bunch of "dollah dollah billz" ( poetic, right?) for our wedding!!!! Yippie! It makes me want to turn on Mary Poppins and fast forward it to the end when all the Chimney men people are dancing around on the top of the roof singing "Chim chim che-ree Chim chim che-roo" yeah? Don't act like you don't know what I'm talkin' bout willis!

Because of all the business - haha busy-ness, get it? haaaaa- I have been dealing with at work, I haven't been able see Matthieu (that's french for matthew) often. I feel like we are two ships passing in the night. Just lonely little sailors on our own little toot toot boats, just chuggin' along alone. (Awwwww how cute would Matt be in a sailor's suit? But not 1990's sailor, more like 1950's sailor. Classic. I can see him now. You know, I've always wondered what Matt would look like in a neckerchief. I'll have to try it on him next time he's sleeping. Don't act like you've never dressed up your man in his sleep.It's not weird.) Yeah so, that's how I've felt. Like two little ships passing in the night. They don't get to open their sails together, or see one another, and they definitely don't get to make dinner together. Ugh, I hate eating alone. It's just boring. Who am I supposed to talk to? Leelieu? Dax?
"Hey Leelieu, hey Dax, how's that kitty chow? Is it tastin' the same as it did yesterday? Yeah? What do you mean is it store bought? Yeah I made it. I poured it out of a bag didn't I? SO that's makin' it.You two are being so under appreciative! Go to your litter box... don't you dare meow back to me."
Man it must suck to be a cat. Maybe that's why Dax is always going through the trashcan? He's bored with that same old yucky kitty food he gets everyday... oh SIDE STORY...I neglected to tell you guys about this hilarious thing that happened weeks ago....

It was a dark and stormy night.... ok not really, but who doesn't love starting a story that way? Matt and I were laying in bed. He was snoring peacefully in his sleep. I was exhausted but I couldn't doze off. With all the changes going on at work I was tensed up, I kept tossing and turning. Ok, so you all know that Matt is the Late-Night-Junk-Food King...right? Well he, OF COURSE, had a little snacky bag of Doritos before he fell asleep. And he, OF COURSE, left the wrapper to the little snacky bag of Doritos on the nightstand. And you all know that Dax is the worst cat/animal/pet on the planet, right? Soooooo what does the worst cat/animal/pet on the planet do when stuff is left out? Well I'll tell you what the worst cat/animal/pet on the planet does, he has to mess with it. He has to go sniffing around the Doritios bag looking for crumbs, OF COURSE. And he has to stick his little kitty head in the bag, OF COURSE. I'm tossing and turning and thinking and thinking until I'm startled by the sound of, "Mrrr....." Splat! "Mrrrr..." Splat!.... What the? I thought. "Mmmrrr...." Splat! Mmmmrr..." SPLAT!
Just picture a cat trying to wiggle free from a mini-Doritios bag covering his face. It's like he was licking crumbs out of the bottom and then it slipped over his head and he thought...

"Ooops! Whoaaa. Who turned out the lights? Who turned out the lights? Oh, its dark in here, I don't like it. I don't like IT.....*pause*....Ew, Is something touching me? I think something's touching me. Stranger danger, stranger danger!"

And in his feeble attempt to run away from the dangerous darkness...he runs directly into the wall..."Mmmmmrrr...." SPLAT! Moving his head back and forth, meowing in discontent. "MMmmmmrrr...." SPLAT! Over and Over. "AAAAAAhahahahahahahha," I laughed and laughed and laughed. I LAUGHED so HARD and SOOOO LOUD that I woke Matt from his deep sleep.

"Melinda, what are YOU doing? SHUT UP!" Matt said affectionately.

"Matt, you have to..." me wheezing, "Aaaaahahahaha, you have to... see," barely breathing, "You have to see, aaaaaaaaaaahhahahahaa, Doritos...Daaaaxxx....ahhhh."

Then I realized what a horrible person I was being. Oh crap, What if he smothers himself? I thought. I don't want a dead Dorito-head cat on my bedroom floor! Gross! So I jumped up to grab the bag off his head. It was still hilarious. Man I wish you all could have been there to see it...

Ok, so that would be kinda awkward... A bunch of bloggers watching a defenseless cat run into a wall over and over again.... in my room. Matt in his skives. In the middle of the night.

Well, it definitely should have been taped bc I'm sure that would have been awesomely youtube-able.

Oh calm down PETA, Dax is fine. He's only used up 2 or 3 of his 9 lives, I'm sure.