print, copy, sort, hole-punch...this is my life.

I have been making booklets for my Orientation Leaders. Training starts tomorrow, so of course I'm getting fancy and making each lesson a different color. The first lesson is printed on green paper- of course, and the second pink and so on and so on. The booklet I've come up with is about 25 pages total front and back. And its awesome because I had to make 40 of them! YAY. And that's why my desk looks like this:

Yes my office is green. And yes i did get to help pick out the color.

Have you ever been concentrating on something, really concentrating? So much so that you've completely ignored your basic human needs. Your tummy's growling but you're too busy to stop to eat - That's kid stuff! You're gonna finish what you're doing! Who needs food? Who cares that your throat's so dry you couldn't swallow ice? You're concentrating dammit, quenching your thirst is for babies! And then comes the MOMENT. The moment you cannot ignore your body any longer.

Well, because I was so enthralled with my work I was ignoring my bladder. It's bad but I do this a lot. Am I playing a game? Am I like ok...let's see how long I can make myself miserable because I have to finish this last sentence. It's like I tell myself that I can't leave because if I do, well then I'm going to bathroom a loser. And I want to be a winner.

The bathroom is right down the hall, so I hop up out of my seat when I can't take it anymore and walk swiftly to the door. I tug on the handle and...NOOOOOO someone's in THERE! And I'm thinking, "Really?"

Unfortunately we only have one-stall bathrooms so if someone's in there, you never know when it will be available again. (If you know what I mean.) Plus, I feel akward chillin' in front of the toilettes, ya know? Like I'm being super creepy or demanding. Just give the innocent bathroom goer their space, right?

Anyway, So a light bulb goes off in my head...the basement! There's a bathroom in the BASEMENT! By this time my bladder was screaming at me...so I run down 4 flights of stairs to the basement. "YES," I think to myself, "relief is near." I run across the basement floor, past the kitchen - ok if you saw me you'd probably die laughing because I was forreal sprinting. I reach for the handle and... Really? REALLY? Someone's in this bathroom too!?!?!


I literally snap my fingers like "Rats" and my mind springs to the bathroom in the main lobby. As I sprint off I catch my reflection in the window. Man, I really have a grimace on my face when I have to pee. So up two flights of stairs I go to the first floor. This time I'm running, and just before I pass the Public Safety windows where you pay for your tickets, i slow down and pretend I'm just strolling along... I mean I don't want the ladies at the window to think I'm weird or something. So, I get past the windows and I take off like a shot for the bathroom across the lobby. You may think I'm making this up, but I swear on my cat Leelieu, I am not. I thinkGod was watching me with a bowl of popcorn and laughing like I'm some Will Ferrel Flick. Wouldn't you know...SOMEONE WAS IN THE BATHROOM!! Out Loud I yell... "You're kidding me!"

Instead of just admitting defeat and waiting outside the bathroom... because I am NOT a loser, I decided ...this fight's not over. I was not going to let this lick me, no sir. Instead... I decide to run up three flights of stairs AGAIN, and this time when I pass the ladies sitting in the public safety windows I do not care. It is a code red, Orange-flag-emergency and I am honestly clutching my side. When I reach the third floor where I began all of this madness I am completely breathless. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I just ran up and down like 7 flights of stairs in less than 10 mins, but who can really know, right? I drag myself over to the bathroom, practically lifeless, and put my head on the wall next to the door. I slowly place my hand on the door latch. And I'm here to testify that God finally answered my silent prayers.

So I'm talking to my friend Jenni and telling her this story because she hates blogs and will probably never read this. Anyway, so she says to me "Um, that doesn't even make any sense, why wouldn't you just wait for one of the bathrooms to be empty?"

One, I didn't want to be creepy McCreeperton standing outside the bathroom. And two, I thought it would be quicker to just find another bathroom. Plus, who needs logic? That doesn't make you a winner.